That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
