Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
