You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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