i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
