My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
