similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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