Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
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I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
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I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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