one might say we're banned from that church
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
