after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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