the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
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I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
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I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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