i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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