I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
