Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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