Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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