My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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