i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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