Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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