What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
