So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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