I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
