you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
