I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
