At least make sure they are 18
Why
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
