Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
