i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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