He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
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i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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