hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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