conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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