If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
