yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
