They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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