marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
