so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
