he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
