you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize