I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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