I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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