ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
