I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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