you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
