I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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