I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
