So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
