yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
