I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
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Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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