we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
