someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize