Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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