If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
