it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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