dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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