just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat