the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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