I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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