He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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