Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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