East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
