Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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