Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
