And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
